I never thought I’d actually live the cliche: “waiter, there’s a slug on my lettuce!” And to be fair, it was actually on the leaves of the baby radish that we had to nibble with our bread, so not actually lettuce. And it was a tiny slug, though very much alive. I did call the waiter over, and told him that the little guy would probably be happier back in the garden. He took the radish stalk off to show to one of his colleagues and then my slug friend disappeared and was never mentioned again.

If I’m gonna be honest, I was kinda expecting an apology or some kind of acknowledgment. The Woodspeen boasts a Michelin star, after all, and I can’t picture the Michelin inspector handing out stars if he got an unwanted gastropod on his plate. Seriously, if a guest finds something like that, even if they don’t make a fuss about it some reassurance would be nice. You can bet my parents and Maureen checked every bit of salad and garnish on every dish for the rest of the meal!

So what else can I tell you about The Woodspeen?

Well, it’s a big, bright dining room in a lovely country setting, wood decor, comfortably modern furnishing and a fine big open kitchen. Service was friendly and refined, though there were a couple of minor hiccups (e.g. being served our starters before we’d ordered wine). The wine list was good, plenty of variety and a friendly range of prices.

My starter was a black pudding terrine, with a large square of dense belly pork in the centre and chewy pieces of dried apple embedded in the black pud. It came with dressed leaves and some very good little sweet/sour gooseberries. Also with some strips of crackling that didn’t – they were chewy. Overall, unamazing. Maureen’s mackerel starter was much better by comparison, the mackerel really smokey from its grilling, the pickled veg accompaniments and dollops of guacamole making an effective combo.

For main I picked veal. Juicy and well-cooked slices, a deeply flavoured jus, and a very neat accompaniment of spicy date puree. There were more good bits to pick at too. A lovely piece of battered sweetbread with a super herby flavour. Skinny little whole roasted carrots. And a slippery little charred onion sitting on top of a wafer-thin disc of pastry (called an “onion tart” on the menu – hopefully not with a straight face). Really solid dish overall. Maureen shared a lobster dish for two with my brother, and really it was a bit of an oddity. The main event was a lobster gratin with a barbecued lobster claw. Served with a salad of heritage tomatoes, crab and burrata. Served with big triple-cooked chips in a chip-shop paper cone. Burrata and chips? Burrata and lobster, for that matter? I just couldn’t see this as anything but three unrelated elements, and reports from over the table agreed.

Puds. Well, I went with cheese because two of the cheeses were homemade. Mmm… really delighted by the beetroot-washed goat cheese, it had an unashamedly pungent goaty flavour and the colour is unique. Their sharp blue had a strong tang, jolly good, and they picked a real quality gruyere to finish the trio. Crispy flatbread, lush pickle, I was happy. Maureen’s strawberry brulee was also good, though it is truly monstrous to deconstruct a brulee and deny your guests the privilege of cracking the crispy top!

So there we go. It was a 50/50 meal – half the dishes really jolly good, the other half not so great. You’ll be looking at £45 for three courses, and at that price I’d have probably wanted everything a notch better. Of course, I have to face the possibility that finding Mr Slug set the tone for the evening, but then if you don’t handle something like that well you’ve got to expect it to dent your guest’s enjoyment.