I’m sometimes tempted to make allowances for duff food on the grounds that at least it was cheap. But that’s daft. I’m a half-decent home cook, no Delia but no bad either. So I can confidently state that it doesn’t cost more money to cook crunchy chips, it just requires that you cook them right. It doesn’t cost more to peel apples before making a crumble with them. It doesn’t cost more to make a chocolate torte that has a velvety texture rather than that of potter’s clay. It doesn’t cost extra to roast beef to pinkness rather than grey – arguably it costs marginally less. So although there is a need to balance a review to reflect the price-point, that’s more about not expecting premium ingredients or molecular techniques. You shouldn’t need to pay extra for good cooking. If you eat in a restaurant you are eating food from a professional kitchen. As opposed to your own, amateur, kitchen. It should be at least as good as your own efforts, end of.
I think I’ve pretty well prepped this review!
I do like how they’ve done The Unicorn Inn, with its three distinctive rooms. The front room is a perfect country pub, original wood panelling still on the walls and a roaring fire in the grate.
Further back is the Slate Room, open to the kitchen, stuffed with period features but offset by smartly modern and comfy chairs. Good choice. The Oak Room at the back is the new extension, looking a lot more friendly and cosy than under the previous owners.
We were in for Sunday lunch. My duck liver pate was pretty decent, with a nice fat grape chutney. It being Sunday, for main Maureen chose the roast beef. The meat was cooked right through to grey, disappointing given that we took the trouble to ask whether it would be pink and were told that it was. The roast potatoes were decent, the veg had good texture, but the Yorkshire pud lacked poof. The gravy was very full flavoured, a free hand taken with the Worcestershire sauce. My battered cod and chips were a mixed bag. The cod was a decent piece wrapped in jolly thick, crispy batter. There was a fair dollop of pea puree and a tangy homemade tartare sauce. The chips were disappointing though, the skins leathery rather than crisp. Not inedible, but it was certainly a chewy experience.
Puddings can often save a Sunday lunch, but these didn’t come close. My chocolate torte was as dense as any I’ve had, like trying to push through hardening potter’s clay. It stuck to the spoon like glue. The pastry did nothing and the chocolate itself wasn’t packing any punch. Blood orange sorbet was sweet-shop flavoured. Maureen’s crumble was mainly fruit with a dusting of crunchless crumble on top. And would it really have killed them to peel the apples? Strips of apple peel, divorced from their fruit, aren’t the loveliest things in the world to eat.
It wasn’t an expensive lunch. £25 for three courses and one drink. Good enough if you want a Sunday pub lunch in Ludlow, given the lack of good eating pubs in the town (we’ve tried the pies at The Church Inn, they were yuck but didn’t warrant a review). But £25 is also the price of a three course Sunday lunch at the Michelin-starred Stagg Inn, thirty minutes drive away in Titley. And what frustrates me most is that the things we didn’t like were just down to how the food was cooked. Which costs no more or less to get right, wherever you are.
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