Review: Twist, Marylebone

Boquerones with lemon goo

Boquerones with lemon goo

Quick one. We stopped for lunch at a little place called Twist on the edge of Marylebone. It has somehow become popular with oriental tourists, or at least seems to have on the basis of three other tables being served.

It’s small plates, basically mixed Mediterranean with some Peruvian and Japanese influences thrown in for kicks. None of which feels contrived, although to be fair the menu was light on the non-Mediterranean elements.

Nibbles. Nduja and potato croquettes were excellent, a good tang of smoke in with the romesco sauce they came with. Big friendly, vinegary boquerones with a drizzle of lemony sauce also tasty.

Courgette flower, stuffed good

Courgette flower, stuffed good

My favourite dish was their signature: courgette flowers stuffed with the lightest ricotta, flavoured with Amalfi lemon and mint, drizzled with pungent honey. They had been fried in a shiveringly delicate batter and were the most soothing and tasty thing ever.

Lamb chops on smoky aubergine goop were delish. Slow-cooked Mangalitza pork belly was drop-dead gorgeous. Beautiful gravy and the blobs of burnt onion puree were a good touch. Carrot puree a bit sweetly dull. We accompanied these two meaty wonders with a hispi cabbage, quartered and blackened to heck on the Josper. There is nothing better than burnt cabbage.

I managed to squash in a pudding too. Tiny little rings of grilled pineapple with a really zingy sorrel and apple sorbet, slick creme patisserie and crumbly chocolate biscuit bits. Top notch.

You’re probably looking at £38 each for a satisfying meal before drinks, which is kinda steep but we’re kinda in Marylebone. There’s other places around here that I want to explore, but if you’re looking for a splendid meal in this part of town then I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend Twist.

Tiny pineapple ring pud

Tiny pineapple ring pud

Review: Artis, Blackheath

Artis

Artis

You’ll not have heard of Artis unless, like me, you live in Blackheath. It’s a new bar/restaurant that’s opened in the building that was previously an outlying branch of Locale, tucked away in a side road. They don’t seem to have done any PR and their social media is refreshingly amateur. The Sunday lunch photo on Twitter looks like a photo taken by a food blogger and captioned “I bloody hate Sunday lunches”. Now I’m here, I’m not sure whether they’ve even redecorated? So with low expectations we stop in for a bite of supper.

And they manage to limbo right under our already low bar. I go for salmon with wilted wild garlic and nduja roast jersey royals. The char-grilled asparagus, potatoes and ransoms are actually pretty decent. But the salmon has been mercilessly cooked to a steaming hot uniform off-white, a bit dry at the edges. It’s edible, but then so is a tin of spaghetti hoops.

Sad burger

Sad burger

Maureen goes for the wagyu burger with truffle fries. I think they forgot the truffle oil. Nevermind, I’m sure it would have been nasty. So what I’m really intrigued to know is how you manage to make a burger taste like its been boiled? My hunch is that it’s quite a thick lump of beef, and yet the texture is very finely ground – more like a McDonald’s patty – so perhaps all the liquid gets trapped inside and steams the meat? Or something? I dunno, whatever, it tastes utterly wrong. Edible, but then so is a McDonald’s burger.

And with all this, I might have cut them some slack. It’s a new place, the staff were friendly and keen to help. But they’re taking £17 for that lump of salmon and £18.50 for a burger that Gourmet f*cking Burger Kitchen would be embarrassed to serve. So Artis is just taking the piss. They’re going to have to massively up their game or I think they might not last.

Salmon

Salmon

Review: Dishoom, Soho

Making roti in the kitchen

Making roti in the kitchen

Coming back to London after 7 years away, there’s an awful lot of eating to catch up with. Plenty of places I remember drooling over on Cheese n Biscuits or The Critical Couple when they first opened that are now staples of the London dining scene. Often with one or two branches and offshoots popping up elsewhere.

And so it is with Dishoom, which rode in on the early wave of authentic Indian street-food cooking and landed in Covent Garden but now has seven branches, including Edinburgh and Manchester. Did I miss the party?

We stopped in for lunch and yet another daft small plate experience. “It’s a small plate menu, we suggest you pick 2 or 3 dishes each… we suggest one from the starters, one from the mains, and one accompaniment.” So, what, like a normal meal then?

Incredible chops

Incredible chops

Their place on Kingly Street is vast, going back behind the street for room after room, but splendidly kitted out with a colourful mix of Indian decor and nostalgic 70s bits-and-bobs. It feels friendly and the staff work hard to make it so, we felt well looked after in spite of the busyness and bustle.

First dish up was a Bhel, a nicely spiced jumble of puffed rice, pomegranate and other scrunchy things. Two lamb chops turned up next, and they were as good as you’ll find anywhere, charred to perfection in the tandoor and delightfully juicy pink from their spicy marinade inside. Char-grilled sweetcorn with spicy salt and lime were just absolute classic street snacks, could have gobbled a dozen. Dishoom’s signature dish is a dal, and wow I have never had a finer dal. There was an underlying coconut flavour, the dal itself a beautiful brick red and insanely warming and silky smooth. It vanished. Our other pick was a jackfruit biryani, and this was very tasty too. I don’t really think it had the fantastic perfume that I like in a classic biryani, but it was satisfying.

Punch!

Punch!

Shout out to their drinks too, a massive and inventive list especially for anyone not boozing. I tried the non-alcoholic version of a punch simply because it was described as having leather and tobacco notes, and bloody hell did it! Next time I’m having the grown-up version. Maureen’s fruity sharbat was great too, a smashing balance of sweet and salt that you don’t often find. Bravo. Oh, and of course they do bottomless cups of chai tea. Good chai – saltyplums approved. And they do mean bottomless, as I was brought more as soon as I’d necked one and eventually downed four… or maybe five…?

Satisfyingly big lunch was £20-ish each before drinks, making it very good value for my money. Everything was good, although only some things were amazing. I’m happy to have Dishoom as a London institution with a growing number of branches. If they could put one out in Blackheath I’d be chuffed to bits.

That dal

That dal

Review: The Beacon, Tunbridge Wells

The Beacon

The Beacon

Not everything about our three courses at The Beacon was perfect, or likely to be particularly memorable. But I’m not too bothered because it was an absolute bloody pleasure to sit by the open fire and just soak up the (completely concocted and utterly brilliant) atmosphere of this majestic Victorian pub on the outskirts of good ol’ Tunbridge Wells. Whoever transformed this place must’ve absolutely loved every minute of it, and boy does it show in every little detail. A small pile of old books stacked on a windowsill, decanters on the sideboard, the whole shebang. If Farrow & Ball had a baby with Antiques Roadshow it might look like The Beacon. You cannot help but feel like gentry here. Very comfortable gentry, just in from an afternoon yomping across the bounds on a spirited courser… or whatever it is they used to do.

Pear salad

Pear salad

Really, I can’t think of a more spiffy ambience. And they’ve stunning views over the Weald for summer evenings on the terrace. Wot wot. This isn’t a pub though, it’s most definitely a restaurant with a bar. So how about our dinner?

Well, the flatbread crisps were chewy but the turnip chutney with them was delish. Maureen’s starter was a beef carpacio. T’was very good, with a pungent dollop of truffle-oiled mayonnaise and some fair shavings of parmesan. My salad of poached pear, walnuts, chicory and blue cheese mousse was classic and nice enough, although the blue cheese mousse was criminally un-blue-cheesy. There was a bit of crumbled cheese on the pear but that kinda feels like making an excuse for your mousse.

My main was skrei cod, a very nicely roasted piece of it with buttered brown shrimp on top. The sturdy helping of caper mash accompanying was good, so was the fennel and very well roasted salsify. My heartiest commendation on a fine bit of fish. Maureen’s pork belly was a huge and juicy piece of flesh. They’d made no attempt at crackling, but the skin was chewably porky anyway. Mustard mash with some black pud crumbled on top was good with it, nice bit of cabbage, and a tiny wee roasted apple with a dollop of caramel was a pretty accompaniment… but frankly nowhere near as nice to eat as apple sauce. Still, jolly good show old boy!

Pork belly

Pork belly

I had just enough room for pud: orange and almond cake with marmalade ice cream. There was some serious marmalade overload here: marmalade icecream, sitting on a dollop of marmalade sauce, and then the block of cake glazed thickly with marmalade and sprinkled with delicately crystallised orange peel. I had marvellously fragrant marmalade breath right through to breakfast! Just a pity the cake’s texture was a bit off; very fine and floury, no crumb to it at all. No idea why as I’m not that good of a baker.

Three courses at The Beacon cost us £38 each. Well, this is Tunbridge Wells after all! Nice house cocktail to start and a bearable glass of Rioja from a reasonable selection of wine. On its own the food comes nowhere near £38 for the quality, I’ve no idea how they get a 4 from Hardens. Or maybe I do? It really is such a lovely place to have dinner I suspect the surroundings are enough to elevate the food! I wouldn’t hesitate to take anyone there. You should stop in too.

Cosy at the Beacon

Cosy at the Beacon

Review: Sticky Walnut, Chester

Chester

Chester

Should I spend the intro waffling about Gary Usher, the owner of the Sticky Walnut who has crowd-funded four more well-loved bistros around the north-west of England on a wave of social media street cred and chutzpah? Nah, I’d rather talk about Chester.

You need to come and chill for a weekend in this city. It has the most amazing medieval half-timber colonnaded shopping streets. It has by far the best and completest city walls in England that you can walk around. It has canals below the walls. It has the beautiful River Dee running through it. It has wonderful fragmentary Roman remains including a shrine to Minerva and an amphitheatre. On a sunny day its red-brick and gritstone buildings look stately and feel soaked in history. Visually and historically it can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with York or Bath… it just needs more visitors, so the dining and shopping scenes have a chance of catching up! Well, at least there’s the Sticky Walnut.

Cod

Cod

It’s a cosy bistro tucked away in a hip suburb not far from the city, simple decor and friendly staff. Only four whites and four reds by the glass, but bottle were sensibly priced and we found a friendly Rioja to look after us.

My starter was a sturdy breadcrumbed brick of softly braised pig’s head, topped with cubes of sweetly caramelised apple and served with a blob of very splendid brown sauce (I might quibble at the menu calling it barbecue sauce). Yum. Maureen had a piece of tandoor-cooked cod, blackened on the surface but very soft and silken within; great technique, great result. The blob of “nori mayo” worked well with it, distinct sea flavour coming through.

For main I went duck. There was plentiful amounts of pink roast duck breast, all very decent. Far more decadent and vile (in a good way) was a small brioche bun stuffed full of softly shredded duck leg. Cor! And a shout-out to the punchy drizzle of spring onion oil, the rich blob of plum sauce, and the perfect al dente texture of the char-grilled cabbage chunk. Maureen meanwhile had a mighty chunk of amazing slow-braised featherblade, drowned in delicious sticky gravy. And nothing says “great neighbourhood bistro” like the fat truffle and parmesan chips that came with it.

Duck

Duck

It was necessary to have pudding. Maureen enjoyed an earl grey and brown butter rice pudding with Armagnac prunes. Who wouldn’t? The bergamot came through clearly among the otherwise earthy and comforting flavours. I went for the custard tart, because apparently you’re supposed to. The custard was light as a dream, the pastry was nutty brown and delicate. Smashin’.

Can’t help but love the Sticky Walnut. Three courses does almost hit £40 before drinks, though. I’ve had very good meals at places that throw in bread and an amuse for that amount. This is about as good as bistro cooking gets though, and I can’t imagine recommending anywhere else for your weekend break in Chester. You are coming, aren’t you?

Pig's head

Pig’s head